English SMS Jokes

Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”

**

Rain of summer, snow of winter,
grace of autumn, glory of spring,
May beauty of every season
give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile.
May God suceed u in every exams of ur life.
Good luck & all the best

**

Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.

**

eXams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!

**

Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

**

To be a “Good professional”,
always start to study late for “Exams”.
Because it teaches how to manage “Time”
and tackle “Emergencies”!!

**

To accomplish great things,
We must not only act,
But also dream,
Not only plan but also believe,

**

Exams are like Girl friends
- Too many questions
- Difficult to understand
- More explanation is needed
- Result is always fail!

**

A student grabbed a coin,

Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”

Tail, I watch a movie.

If it stands on the edge I’ll study

**

It takes 15 trees to
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.

join us in promoting the noble
cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS

**

You must be a good runner because
you are always running in my mind,
you must be a good thief because
you have stolen my heart,
and
i am always a bad shooter because
I Miss You Always...

**

True love is like a pillow
U could HUG it when u r in trouble
U could CRY on it when u r in pain
U could EMBRACE it when u r happy
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW

**

Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life,
success before work,
& divorce before marriage.
but the Best part is
Friend comes before relatives :)

**

A true Friend
is not like
',",'Rain',",'
Which Rained & left away.
A true friend is like
~_~AIR_~_~
Symptoms silient but always around u :)

Take Care alot

**

May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty.

**

Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects.

**

Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don't worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.

**

Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot For Ever

**

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.

**

GALILEO:
great mind
EINSTEIN:
genius mind
NEWTON:
extraordinary mind
BILL GATES
brilliant mind
ME:
master mind
YOU:
oh!
never mind

**

I have a confession to make
ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night I see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST !!!

**

Some times small
things in life
hurt a lot.....
If u don't agree
with me....
Then >>>>
Try to sit
on a Common Pin !!

**

To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a heart to have a heart i need hapines and to have hapiness i need u

**

Wrote your name on the sands.....It got washed away,i wrote your name in air....It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart...I got heart attack!!!

**

Your attention please
Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work...

**

Hey listen......
Two people were asking
Me about you,
I give them ur address
And cell no,
They will b visiting u soon,
Their names r joy n happiness.

**

Let me
draw ur
face!
Dont
MOVE!
Nearly
finished
OK
Done!
Wanna have
a look?
.,|!|,.
( o)(o)
  ( ,)

**

Height of fashion?
Dhoti wid zip.
Height of secrecy?
Blank visiting card.
Height of stupidity?
Looking thru a keyhole of glass door.
Height of honesty?
Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket.
Height of de-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Height of timewasting?
U reading the whole msg.

**

Friendship is the rainbow between
2 hearts
sharing of 7 colors.
1.LOVE
2.SADNESS
3.HAPPINESS
4.TRUST
5.FAITH
6.SECRET
7.CARE
Take Care n Have a nice day:-)

**

A 992 i
n0279q biquT2
2m2 pni992
.2iHT 9>IiI
(use mirror to read)
pls dnt erase!
its really interesting.

**

This iz crime story
5 frndz lived in a room
Namely
MAD
BRAIN
FOOL
NOBODY
SOMEBODY
1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
At that time BRAIN was in bathroom,
MAD called police.
MAD:Is it police station?
Police:Yes,wht iz the matter?
MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police:R u mad?
MAD:Yes,i"m MAD.
Police:Dnt u've BRAIN.
MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..
Police:U FOOL...
MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs

**

it takes 15 trees 2 produce d amount of paper dat we use 2 write in 1 exam.join us in promoting d noble coz of saving treez.....say NO 2 exams:-)

**

I
miss
"STARS"
sTARs think i m serious
bUt i m joking!
I
miss
"MOON"
m00n thinks i m serious
bUt im joking!
I
miss
"U"
U think i m joking
but i m serious!

**

Medicines and friendship
cure our problems.
The only difference is that,
Friendship don't have an expiry date.

**

Today is Donald Duck's birthday .... :)
So wish him by sending this sms to every cartoon you know.
Just like I did by sending this sms to you...

**

Roses r red violets r blue.
Monkeys like u should kept in a zoo Don't get angry because u will find me there too. Not in a cage but laughing at you

**

Dear customer,
U r not using ur SmS service properly.Ur sim will be deactivated soon.To avoid this,urgently reply with a cute SmS to the sender.
Sndr's watng?

**

3 monkeys escaped from zoo!
Ist watching T.V. 2nd plays soccer n 3rd is...
Not u yaar ! 3rd is eating banana.y u r always think u r a monkey

**

I'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL

**

Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me.
It was the sweetest thing that ever could be.
It was a fantasy, a dream come true
it was the day I met you.

**

Love is like a cloud...
love is like a dream...
love is 1 word and everything in between...
love is a fairytale come true...
Coz I found love when I found U.

**

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I was born beautiful,
but what the hell happened to you?

**

Girls are like phones,
we like to be held and talked too,
but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

**

We will now upgrade your brain,
please wait....
Searching....
searching...
still searching....
sorry,
NO BRAIN found...!

**

Roses r red, violets r blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But the roses r wilting, the violets r dead,
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head!

**

This sms can only be read by someone SMART,
try again,
again,
maybe you are..
just not smart??
one more time.
hey don't force it ugly!!!

**

Last night I wanted to send you a msg,
But all I could write was,
“noh ss!w !”.
It didn’t make mush sense
Until I read it upside down...

**

I'd love to ask how old you are,
but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

**

Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blanks with YES or NO.
1.______I don’t have Brain.…
2.______I don’t have Sense.…
3.______I am Stupid....

**

A physiological study has proved that
all the fools, donkeys, monkeys
used their thumbs to read the messages
Don’t change your finger know its too late.

**

How to keep an idiot entertained
*press down*
…………………………………
How to keep an idiot entertained
*press up*

**

FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forget but how U forgive,
Not how U listen but how U Understand,
Not what U see but how U feel,
and not how U Let Go but how U hold on!!!

**

WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever

**

A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW..
Its Sweeter when its TRUE
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.

**

Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,
and kills by his bills.

**

How do you keep an idiot in suspense............??
Tell you later........

**

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...
Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain

**

A million words would not bring you back,
I know, because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears.
I know, because I've cried.

**

Hey friend remember that without stupidity
there can be no wisdom and
without ugliness there can be no beauty.
so the world needs YOU after all!

**

Minds are like Parachutes.
They work best when open

**

If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put U and I together

**

Aim for the stars.
But first, aim for their bodyguards

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ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction

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Why were males created before females?
Because you always need a rough draft before the final copy

**

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog,
to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog,
for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ...
Now read without the word dog.

**

All day I thought of you....
I was at the zoo.

**

CNN News.
Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

**

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

**

Hi there, I'm a human being!
What are you?

**

Brains aren't everything.
In fact in your case they're nothing

**

I heard someone whisper your name,
but when I turned around to see who it was,
I notice I was alone,
then I realize it was my heart
telling me that I miss you.

**

My eyes are hurting coz I can't see U,
My arms are empty coz I can't hold U,
My lips are cold coz I can't kiss U
but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!

**

I need you to know our friendship means a lot -
If you cry then I cry,
if you laugh then I laugh..
if you jump out the window
I look down then....I laugh again

**

True friends warm the heart,
make you laugh, smile...
yes, you are a true friend.

**

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

**

Always draw a circle around the ones you love,
never draw a heart because hearts can be broken,
but circles are never ending.

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Memories last forever, they simply never die,
true friends stay together - they NEVER say good-bye.

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God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested

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I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends.
Each day I tell those Angels,
you are my best of friends.

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Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.

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Without humor, life sucks
Without Love, Life seems hopeless.
But without a friend like you,
life is nearly impossible.

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If you need advice, text me...
if you need a friend, call me ...
if you need me, come to me...
if you need money........
SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

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It takes a minute to have a crush,
an hour to like someone,
and a day to love someone,
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

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If you can't change your mind,
are you sure you still have one?

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Marriage is a three ring circus:
an engagement ring,
a wedding ring,
and suffering

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A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

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What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women

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What's the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

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News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message

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